A post about new-old beginnings and blogs

On my 40th birthday, a friend gave me this wall hanging.

I liked it then but I wasn't ready for it.  Today it has new meaning.  I wasn't ready to grow, reach, heal, to be soulful or vulnerable, to say yes to change, joy and beginnings then, but I am ready now. 

This blog has been in existence for a few years, though I haven't blogged regularly here and only a select few knew it existed.  When I was thinking about transitioning to some place new, I took another look here and thought this, this is the place I want to "be". 

So welcome to my new-to-most-of-you home. 

Two things to note:

Comment moderation has been turned on.  If you want to comment, it won't show up until I approve the comment.  And I reserve the right to publish or not publish comments.

I'll blog just as infrequently as in the past and be the me that has evolved over the last few years.  I have lost some filters but I am always aware of the audience that could potentially read these posts.  If I get political and you don't agree, feel free to skip that blog post.  If I swear, well, that is the real me.

See you somewhere down the road...  

A post about new beginnings

This morning I went to a new-to-me church.  I've been struggling with church attendance for awhile now.  I really like the pastor at the church I've been attending.  I like the people.  I've had a really hard time with the music.  Music, for me, is an essential piece of church worship.  God speaks to me through music.  While I can hear God through both "traditional" and "contemporary" music, I prefer the latter.  Organ music doesn't do much for me, most of the time, and I really, really have a hard time when the music leader feels the need to explain how to worship or the meaning behind every song before allowing the words and music to speak.  I just want to sing...so when I started being intentionally late to church to avoid the music, I knew there was a problem.  A big problem.

A week ago, I went to church for the first time in a month.  I was either out of town or had something happening on Sunday that kept me home the entire Advent season.  We didn't even make it to the Christmas Eve service...side note/question, what happened to the late night Christmas Eve services?  I may have to create my own next year.  So going back to church last Sunday I was ready and hopeful.  I left church knowing it was time to find someplace where my musical soul could be filled again.

Which brings me to today and the new-to-me church.  A former Youth Minister friend is the Pastor of the church.  It meets in a local restaurant, which on Saturday nights and some Sunday afternoons can be frequented by motorcycle groups.  I went alone (which is a big deal), with two simple hopes, to feel welcomed and to begin to find God again through music.  Check and check.

I'm not sure that I'm completely ready to let go of the church I've been attending but I can safely say, I am definitely going back to the new-to-me church again.  The fact that it starts later and is only 10 minutes away from home is a big bonus.  But so was the welcome, the songs that began to wash over my soul and the words spoken that gave me a moment to examine the wounds that are still gaping open in my heart.  Today felt like a new beginning...and that is good.