Watch this space. There is more to come.

I used to blog a lot. In the "hay day" of blogging, it wasn't uncommon for me to post several times a week. I also used to have a lot more time to contemplate, where my introverted self wasn't being called on to be in extrovert mode. My job was to teach, to inspire, to create messages that engaged teenagers and encouraged them to explore the world of faith. Writing came naturally, speaking came naturally but I needed time and space to find the words to best convey the message. I had that in spades and thus creativity flowed pretty easily. 

Blogging was an overflow of having time and space to think. A thought might ruminate for a day or two but once I had the moment to write, the words would usually come out quickly. Of course, there are many drafts that never made it to the light of day, but the words were typed out on the screen, even if no one else ever saw them.

I'm now in a job that requires my 90% introverted self to be 95% extroverted all day long. My day is a constant disruption, from the moment I walk in the door until everyone else leaves. Emails, calls, Teams messages, people walking in and sitting down on the couch, someone calling across the room, interaction with others is my constant. If I'm NOT disrupted for an hour, it's unusual. By the time I come home at night, my brain is tired. The half thought-out blog post that I had on my way TO work, is long gone. I have nothing else to give.

I still have a lot to say, though. It's buried underneath the layer of tiredness that is my ever-present companion. When I do have time to stop and think, that's about all I do is stop and think. Sometimes I will snap a photo and do a quick rumination of something or other on Instagram. But pulling out the computer, signing on and actually blogging...yeah, that doesn't happen. Just thinking about doing all of that wears me out. 

My heart, however, longs to get back to this space. A place where I can stretch my own thoughts. Where I'm not limited by the amount of characters. Where I can write a sentence and erase it easily because that's not what I REALLY mean. (I can't tell you how many posts I've deleted on Instagram and started over because I deleted ALL the words and not just one sentence.)

I long to get back to writing. To creating. To imagining. To exploring. To being a little daring and speaking out, even when it's scary, on things that really matter. To sharing from my soul to anothers. I'm tired of being so exhausted the everyday by the trials and tribulations of being a Customer Service Manager, that I don't have space to create.  

I don't know what to do about that, how to leap over the burden of being mentally wiped out and carving out room for my creative brain to engage with this space again. But my soul is telling me it is time. There are words that need to be "spoken", topics that need to be broached, feelings to be expressed and there is this space just sitting here waiting.

Watch this space. There is more to come.