A post about 2:30am wake ups

I woke up at 2:30 this morning.  Wide awake and hot.  I kicked all the covers off and maneuvered the blinds enough so that cool air began to flow into the room.  Within 15 minutes I was pulling the sheet and light blanket back up...but I was still awake.

And so I started to think about all the things that I had done the day before.  One of my team had called in sick, another was on vacation and I was filling in at a desk that moves pretty quickly.  I'm getting better at order entry, better at credit returns and all the other little things that go along with the job but I'm not up-to-par on the knowledge that resides only in the brain of the person who works at that desk day in and day out.  It was a stressful day.

People ask how my new job is going and the truth of it all is that I'm glad that I made the change but I'm not ready to say that this is the job I will have for the rest of my working career.  I like being in an office with other people.  I appreciate the interaction.  I just don't feel settled and so the jury is out.  Some days I just get anxious.

When I woke up at 2:30 this morning, all these things wandered through my head.  I let them wander through, as I scrolled through Amazon looking for a cupcake carrier to add to my wish list, with Frasier playing on the TV in the background.  I let the fears, the hopes, the anxiousness, the uneasiness, the unknown wander through my head and settle where it was going to settle.  Eventually I turned off the TV, rolled over and went back to sleep, my thoughts settled and my body a little cooler.  I could have fought those thoughts but instead, I let them wander through and wander out.  I allowed the emotions to play through and play out.  If I have gained any knowledge from the last 23 months, it's that life will throw curve balls and I can either allow the anxiety of those curve balls to derail me or I can step up to the base, face the emotions and allow them to play through. 

Hopefully I won't be awake at 2:30 tomorrow morning...today was a much less stressful day.  But if I am, I'll face the emotions, kick off the covers and just wait...peace and coolness will soon prevail.