Well, Hello there

 Well, hello there. It's been a hot minute. Okay, it's been months. I had good intentions of using this space frequently last June, I just didn't follow through. So, here I am again, randomly dropping in with thoughts circling my mind. Are you ready? Let's get caught up.

After a slow, hum-drum summer, September started with an impromptu - let's go to Disneyland (surprise!) trip for Yo Momma and me. We were home two weeks and then we jumped in the car for a planned trip to Yellowstone. Friends, I LOVE YELLOWSTONE. We saw elk (a little too close), bison, something that was probably an elk but we want to say was a moose, geese, Pronghorn deer, geysers and more geysers, a lake, rocks, rocks and more rocks, yellow jackets that sent us back into the car and more. We were in Yellowstone four days total and I want to go back. We went to Craters of the Moon and hiked to the top of hill, that the last time I "hiked" was on the shoulders of my Dad. I was not quite 3 then. The home trip took us to Washington State and a visit with Aunt C, Uncle K, Cousin L and Grandma. It was a good trip.

I was back to work for 7 business days and then work sent me out to New Orleans for a Tradeshow. I was VERY clear with the powers-that-be at work, that if they sent me to New Orleans, I would be taking a few extra days off because 1 1/2 hours away from New Orleans is Pearlington, Mississippi and Mr. Ben and Ms. Sue. My two days with them was too short but so wonderful and needed. I left Mississippi with a soul bursting with joy at reconnecting with Ben, Sue, Tom, the pretty house, Pearlington and Mississippi. I want to go back.

I got back to the office on a Monday and on Wednesday big things changed at work. Really big things and all that soul filling, wonderful vacation, reconnection with who I am time was gone. The last few months have been stressful, uncertain, hard, full of doubt, grief, some anger and a whole lot of frustration with a significant helping of helplessness. 

These last few months have also helped me to really see just how much of me is being stuffed down everyday with my current job. There are parts that I love, that give me moments of joy and fill my soul, but the majority of it, I just don't love. I wake up in the morning and I don't want to go back.

Those words feel dangerous. Those words are unsettling. Those words are true. Work has changed in drastic ways, yet much is the same just harder, more convoluted. The parts that I love, I REALLY love, and those parts of my job that I love have a common theme throughout each of my jobs (hint, it's about the people I work with!). I don't know what to do with that. The story is still unfolding.

Watch this space.

A post about 2:30am wake ups

I woke up at 2:30 this morning.  Wide awake and hot.  I kicked all the covers off and maneuvered the blinds enough so that cool air began to flow into the room.  Within 15 minutes I was pulling the sheet and light blanket back up...but I was still awake.

And so I started to think about all the things that I had done the day before.  One of my team had called in sick, another was on vacation and I was filling in at a desk that moves pretty quickly.  I'm getting better at order entry, better at credit returns and all the other little things that go along with the job but I'm not up-to-par on the knowledge that resides only in the brain of the person who works at that desk day in and day out.  It was a stressful day.

People ask how my new job is going and the truth of it all is that I'm glad that I made the change but I'm not ready to say that this is the job I will have for the rest of my working career.  I like being in an office with other people.  I appreciate the interaction.  I just don't feel settled and so the jury is out.  Some days I just get anxious.

When I woke up at 2:30 this morning, all these things wandered through my head.  I let them wander through, as I scrolled through Amazon looking for a cupcake carrier to add to my wish list, with Frasier playing on the TV in the background.  I let the fears, the hopes, the anxiousness, the uneasiness, the unknown wander through my head and settle where it was going to settle.  Eventually I turned off the TV, rolled over and went back to sleep, my thoughts settled and my body a little cooler.  I could have fought those thoughts but instead, I let them wander through and wander out.  I allowed the emotions to play through and play out.  If I have gained any knowledge from the last 23 months, it's that life will throw curve balls and I can either allow the anxiety of those curve balls to derail me or I can step up to the base, face the emotions and allow them to play through. 

Hopefully I won't be awake at 2:30 tomorrow morning...today was a much less stressful day.  But if I am, I'll face the emotions, kick off the covers and just wait...peace and coolness will soon prevail.

A post about starting a new job

Starting a new job is stressful.  After almost 4 years in my previous position, I went into work every day confident I could handle any problem that was thrown my way.  I knew my way around the different web-based systems that I used.  I became prolific in "Rotary-ese".  I did my job well.  Just hated the commute.

I've been at my new job 9 work days.  I feel like a fish out of water, and not the cute one from Chicken Little who wore a helmet filled with water even though we was walking around the planet.  He could still breathe.  I get pockets of air, here or there, but by in large, I'm struggling to breathe.  But I love the commute!

I'm learning a new language.  Actually, I'm learning several new languages all at once.  There's the office product language, the sales language and the web-based entry systems language.  I've taken in so much information in the last 9 days my brain is on overload.  I'm learning how to negotiate the different personalities that I interact with on a daily basis.  I went from an office of one, with one person that I really took my cues from, to an office where I have three-four different people that I ultimately report to, 4 people who report to me and many other who are in and out and around all the time.  It's exhausting.  Seriously, exhausting.

Today was a tough day.  There are many moving pieces that keep this company moving and two major pieces broke down, today, causing a hailstorm of problems.  Plus, we were missing a key team player, which left me struggling to fill in her shoes, not knowing what to do and feeling like I was failing with each step. When the clock struck 5pm, the computers were shut down and the building was emptied within 5 minutes.  I do not joke.  I came home, and collapsed on my bed.  A bottle of Angry Orchard Cinnful Apple, a little Chex Mix, the comfort of mindless TV and a comfy chair and I'm feeling a little more centered and ready to tackle another day.

My hope is that today's problems don't replicate tomorrow, that tomorrow is relatively problem free and that Friday at 5pm comes quickly because I am ready for a weekend break!  I'll get through these challenges.  I'll figure out my place in this new company and one day I will have a handle on all these new languages.  I'm looking forward to that day!

A post about unexpected opportunities

I must be honest, I have been "looking" for a new job for awhile.  It became habit to browse the want ads, every day, to see what was out there and what might be available on "my side" of the hill.  So, when my friend texted me saying, "there's a job opening in my family's company and I think you need to apply", I shouldn't have been surprised.  But I was.

We met, I asked questions, I listened and at the end of the conversation I thought, "Okay, I'll apply but I'm not sure if this job is for me."  A day later an interview was set up.  On a Friday afternoon, I sat down and interviewed for a Customer Care Manager position.  I was glad I had silenced my phone because my friend texted me before I left the building..."call me when the interview is done!".  I called him and said "I can SO do this job!"

I suffered through the weekend and most of Monday in anticipation and then, Monday afternoon, my phone buzzed with a new email...I GOT THE JOB!

Things have been a whirlwind since then.  I gave notice at my over the hill job and have been trying to clean things up as much as possible for whomever might be hired next.  I've been training my current boss on my job duties (yes, there is some irony there) and I've been saying goodbye.

At least once a day I sit and let the tears fall as someone whom I have come to really like and appreciate emails and says goodbye.  The one that got me yesterday was titled "I am sad"...gah!  My eyeballs keep leaking.  I haven't resorted to taping Kleenex under my eyes (ht, MR), but I promise, if I do, photo's will be taken.

A week from Monday, I will jump into an unexpected opportunity.  I'm excited!!!

A post about letter openers

So, here's the thing.  In this job I get to open envelopes.

When I started, the gentleman who was supplying the office gave me a couple of letter openers.  They looked something like this, but they had his business information on it (yes, shameless self promotion!).



I was using those letter openers just fine.  Then one day, one shot off the desk and behind the drawer cabinet and so I was down to one.  No biggie, it's not like these things wear out quickly.

That one, though, had a tendency to, um, well, slice through whatever was in envelope.  Now, I could blame it on the people who folded and inserted the letter into the envelope the incorrect way, or I can woman-up and admit, I got a little zealous with the opener. Whatever.

After about 3 times of this happening and my admitting it to the office manager here (I have this habit of telling people some of my stupid mistakes.  Sometimes I think I take authenticity too far), she gave me a letter opener that looked like this.


It's all plastic.  No more sliced up letters.

One afternoon, the office manager walked in as I was opening envelopes.  She asked me how my new letter opener was working and I said "It's working great!"  and as I opened the next letter I SNAPPED THE LETTER OPENER IN HALF!!!

I now open a letters with half a plastic letter opener.  Because I am just that awesome.

A post about Monday

I woke up in a blah-mood.

I got on the bus in a not-so-gracious mood.

I sat across from a smiling girl and her little brother on the light rail.  My mood got a little better.

I walked into work in a I-kinda-don't-want-to-be-here-but-I'll-make-the-best-of-it-mood.

I opened my emails and was BLASTED with a barrage of angry emails.

Not necessarily directed at me but angry still the same.

My mood plummeted back to not-so-gracious.

I sent out a not-so-flattering picture of my boss (at his request) to the masses.

The attention getting method worked.

One of the masses emailed back and laughter ensued.

My mood lightened again.

I have a feeling it's going to be "one of those days."

Happy Monday.  How's your mood?

A post about work

No kidding, I honestly don't know how I got through today.  The morning was great.  I didn't have to go in to work until noon, so I took some time to relax and water the plants and feed the birds.  Once I got to work, though, it was non stop go.  Non.stop.

Tonight was the first big meeting for my boss.  I went through at least a ream of paper printing out all the papers for the meeting.  I know I went through ink cartridges like crazy.  CRAZY!  The printer was slow too.  Painfully slow.  The office was covered in papers and directories and folders and I walked out...ran out...to the big meeting leaving piles of things everywhere.  It's not how I've worked in this office, to just leave things everywhere.

For people who know me well, that's a surprise.  My desk at my former job was always covered with stuff.  Always.  There were piles and piles and piles.  I would try to clean it off when vacation time came around, but always wound up with piles.  I still pile, but it's all in the "inbox".  It's not just me at this office, there are people who come around all the time.  I have a feeling it's only going to increase as more and more people get to know that there is a District Office and an employee.

Tomorrow my plan is to deal with the piles, pick up the pieces, make notes for next month and make the chaos of the office go away.  Tonight, it's time to sleep.