A post on "the change"

I was wandering through Target. I had a list of items I was looking for, things I actually needed, items I wanted but didn't need. I wandered down one aisle and felt a tingling in my body. It was subtle, a feeling I'd had when it had been awhile since eating or drinking anything. I picked up my pace a little, and headed towards the card aisle. That's when the sweating began. This wasn't low blood sugar, this was a hot flash.

I don't really understand why women's bodies have to go through menopause, the "change", whatever you decide to call it. I don't get how one minute I can be sleeping peacefully and the next minute sweating so profusely that I have to get up and change my pj's. I don't understand why I can be calming walking through Target one moment and the next standing in the card aisle fanning myself with the biggest card there is and wondering if I'm going to need to purchase new clothes before I walk out the door. I don't get why my hormones can shift so quickly that one minute I'm angry beyond all understanding and the next crying. What is it in these hormones that makes s'mores Pop Tarts look so darn good today and the Tortilla Chips covered in salt so appealing the next??

The hot flash probably lasted about 3 minutes. My hair was soaked, my stress activated deodorant got a work out and my cart suddenly was filled with chocolate, though I had successfully passed those aisles earlier without those items. My heat addled brain took over long enough for a detour back to those aisles. The iced mocha purchased on the way out the door began the cool down...I did successfully pass up the food court breadsticks...winning!!...and I was out the door to my car where the engine went on and the AC went up to MAX.

I'm just in peri-menopause. I've heard it gets worse. I may not make it through without buying a portable AC. I've seen them on TV. They are small and look like they travel well. The people on TV even use them outside. For now, I'll make do with the cards in the card aisle, the fan on a keychain that was in my stocking at Christmas...though the blades run backwards and the air goes towards my fingers not my face...or whatever item that happens to be around for me to fan myself at any given moment.

So if you see me out and about and my face is red, my hair is sticking to the side of my head and I look one step away from finding a tub of ice water to dunk myself in, just hand over the chocolate and a fan. I'll be okay in 3 - 5 minutes. It's just "the change".

A post about letter openers

So, here's the thing.  In this job I get to open envelopes.

When I started, the gentleman who was supplying the office gave me a couple of letter openers.  They looked something like this, but they had his business information on it (yes, shameless self promotion!).



I was using those letter openers just fine.  Then one day, one shot off the desk and behind the drawer cabinet and so I was down to one.  No biggie, it's not like these things wear out quickly.

That one, though, had a tendency to, um, well, slice through whatever was in envelope.  Now, I could blame it on the people who folded and inserted the letter into the envelope the incorrect way, or I can woman-up and admit, I got a little zealous with the opener. Whatever.

After about 3 times of this happening and my admitting it to the office manager here (I have this habit of telling people some of my stupid mistakes.  Sometimes I think I take authenticity too far), she gave me a letter opener that looked like this.


It's all plastic.  No more sliced up letters.

One afternoon, the office manager walked in as I was opening envelopes.  She asked me how my new letter opener was working and I said "It's working great!"  and as I opened the next letter I SNAPPED THE LETTER OPENER IN HALF!!!

I now open a letters with half a plastic letter opener.  Because I am just that awesome.